But after having her hardship transfer case denied by the Missouri State High School Activities Association last Wednesday, the Wildcats will have to play at least half of the season - if not all - with their Division I pitcher on the bench. Brinkmann transferred from Incarnate Word Academy, a private all-girls school located in north St. Louis County, to Wright City in January. While not wanting to leave the private school, she said financial reasons, mainly tuition and a 43-mile one-way trip to the school's campus, led to the transfer. MSHSAA's appeals committee felt otherwise. "It's absolutely horrible," Brinkmann said Monday, just hours before the Wildcats opened the year at Louisiana. "It's devastating. Softball is my life." Brinkmann was accompanied to the appeal hearing held at the MSHSAA office in Columbia by her mother, Renee, and Rich Lagemann, Wright City activities director. All three spoke during the closed hearing, Lagemann said, and then answered follow-up questions from the appeals committee. Lagemann said the committee voted Brinkmann's appeal down 6-2, an eight-member board made up of ADs, principals and superintendents from around the state. "It blows my mind that they felt that way," Lagemann said. "I still think they can win the appeal, but (MSHSAA) still wants financial info. "The best approach is to do more homework and present the facts to the board." Brinkmann can now take her case to the MSHSAA board of directors, a 10-member group. It will be heard either Sept. 17 or 18, said Kerwin Urhahn, MSHSAA executive director. Should the appeal be reversed, Brinkmann would be able to play in the Wildcats' remaining 10 regular-season games. Urhahn declined to discuss specifics about the case citing confidentially issues. He did say, "The rules state that if you transfer, you're ineligible unless you meet one of nine exceptions." It's there where the Brinkmanns believe their case was decided wrongly. Brinkmann's father, a construction worker and dump truck operator, was supposed to pay half of the Incarnate Word's tuition with his ex-wife. Brinkmann said her father's income dropped $26,000 in the past year partly due to the housing slump. When that happened, he couldn't pay his half of the tuition. So Brinkmann, who lived with her mother at the time in Foristell in the Wentzville Holt district, planned on attending the GAC South school. However, Brinkmann's grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and her grandparents moved into the three-bedroom house. Brinkmann was displaced to sleeping on the coach, she said, and a "volatile" relationship with her mother led her to moving in with her father, who lived inside the Wright City School District. Yet, MSHSAA, which had access to numerous IRS forms, didn't believe the sharp drop in income and other living factors were sufficient enough for the transfer. Brinkmann said her situation with her mother has since improved. Her mother has been supportive in trying to get the transfer approved. "This is terrible," Renee Brinkmann said. "To see her watching on the bench, it brings tears to my eyes. It's not fair. You have an adult bureaucracy making decision for a 17-year-old." Brinkmann stressed the transfer was not for athletic reasons, pointing out Incarnate Word's four straight district championships, including the last three with Brinkmann in the starting lineup. Meanwhile, Wright City was coming off a 13-9 season and features a lineup full of underclassmen in the starting lineup for the first time heading into this year. A year ago, Brinkmann was Incarnate Word's top pitcher and compiled a 16-6 record and 1.29 earned run average. She struck out 146 and walked 40 in 141 1/3 innings. She also batted .263 with 13 RBIs. Her performance led her to verbally committing to Creighton University, a D-I college in Omaha, Neb. "I told MSHSAA, this is my senior year," Brinkmann said. "You don't understand, softball is the only escape I have. Softball is my home and my safe haven. In between the two chalk lines, nothing can touch me. I am invisible. That is the only place I am like that." Ironically, while Brinkmann was ruled ineligible to play softball this fall, she was able to participate in the spring track season following her move to the Wright City School District. Now all she can do is wait and be patient. Brinkmann said she will continue practicing and supporting the team in any way until her eligibility issues are resolved next month. "Now it's been taken away from me," she said.