Since late March, funeral homes have been faced with difficult questions about their services. How do you help a whole family grieve when you can only have 10 people in a room? How do you mourn a lost loved one while social distancing?

The onset of COVID-19 restrictions have been hard on families whose loved ones have passed away, according to the owners of Pitman Funeral Home and Martin Funeral Home. But those whose job is to help families through the process of loss have continued doing what they can.

“Most families do know and understand the situation,” said Eric Pitman, owner of Pitman Funeral Home.

When COVID-19-related restrictions were first announced in late March, funeral homes worked under the state order to have no more than 10 people in a gathering, Pitman said. But for many families, that meant only a small portion of the people wishing to come to a visitation or funeral could attend.

Faced with the question of who could attend and who can’t, Pitman said many families elected to instead delay memorial services.

“Now that things have opened up, we are starting to serve those families,” Pitman commented. “We have been following guidelines that the (Missouri) Department of Health has put out.”

For the most part, he said funeral home staff make sure families are aware of social distancing guidelines, and then give them space to grieve as they see fit.

COVID-19 restrictions have also been an adjustment for staff. Pitman said funeral home workers have split into two shifts to lower the number of people in close contact. Each shift works for two days and then rotates.

“We maintain cleaning, every day, all day, because we do have people coming in and out. Especially after a visitation or service,” Pitman commented.

Ray Chmiel, co-owner of Martin Funeral Home, said he’s also seen families struggling with the restrictions of COVID-19. Many of those who have postponed services will probably schedule them in late May or in June, Chmiel predicted.

The hardest part for families is when they haven’t been able to visit a loved one before they passed, for example if they’ve been isolated in a nursing home, Chmiel said.

“It’s definitely not the norm with everything that was taking place,” he commented. “Initially, it was very challenging for families to have a loss, and not be able to grieve and celebrate their life the way we typically have.”

Chmiel said they have spread out the seating in their chapel, and have reduced the number of staff present. That too has been a challenge, he said, because the staff members usually work closely with one another.

“We kept the staff to a minimum, with myself, my wife and my funeral director,” Chmiel said. He added that each staff member was asked if they would be comfortable working going forward.

Even after some of the restrictions were lifted last week, Chmiel said the funeral home isn’t operating at full staff. Even so, they bring in enough people to be able to serve a family while also monitoring to make sure there aren’t too many people gathered close together.

Chmiel asks for families and friends who attend a service to keep in mind that social distancing is still important for health.

“Most people have done that. That really hasn’t been an issue,” he said.